I started this blog almost a year ago. I’ve been slack recently with posting on it. And I’ve said it before that I’m going to start posting more on it. But I mean it this time. This past year itself has been one of the best and worst at the same times. It was one of the best because I got really into fitness and working out. And I smashed so many of my goals at the start. It’s all about sticking with it and being true to yourself. One of the hardest things is starting out. It’s so easy to start something and not finish it. Trust me, I’ve done it plenty of times. Once you get into the mindset and you fall in love with it, once you don’t do it. Your life feels weird. When I started my fitness journey this past year, I weighed exactly 167 lbs. One year later, I weigh 184 lbs. Once you see the progress, it gets really addictive.
I met one of the most amazing people, I think I ever met in my life this past year. It was amazing falling in love with her. It was a instant connection from the moment we met. Literally, my heart would skip a beat when she was around. And it was only natural that friendship was going to lead to something so much more than that. Unfourtantely, things didn’t go as planned. And one of the worst things was losing her… And every day, it’s tough cause it was like losing my girlfriend and my best friend. I saw her recently out and about and it literally hurt me so much seeing her. Even when you think you are doing good. One of the worst things, could just be seeing her or whoever it is. And I’m hoping one day, we can be friends…I really do. Cause I miss her. I know it’s not healthy for me right now. I didn’t deal with things the best way either. I shut down. I shut people out. I locked myself away. I drank. I blamed myself at first. Cause it may not have seemed like it but I was 110% willing to do whatever it took to make her happy. And it seemed like nothing I did was ever good enough… I have yet to work up courage to read a letter she wrote me. I do know that everybody has that somebody out there who will make all the pain and heartache you’ve been through worth it all. I may not have met her yet. I may have and we both don’t realize it though. You never know with life, cause it could always throw you a curve ball.
The past 2 or 3 years have been filled with so many things. Love, heartbreak, accomplishments, failures, and so many other things. As I sit here and type this out, I can’t help but be thankful. Cause I’m able to experience all those things. That’s life, you know? And I’m living it. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Nobody said it would be so hard sometimes. I may not always be living it the best way possible. I may not always make the best or the smartest decisions. I got people to tell me how dumb of a mistake that was, and how I should have done things differently. I’m extremely lucky to be able to call my brothers (Clayton and Justin) my best friends cause without them, I don’t know what I would do. I know they always have my back and whenever I need it, advice to help me through the troubled times.
I felt like this was the best way to get back into writing in my blog. My love and relationship ones always seemed to be the most popular. I feel like being candid and honest is the best way to draw people in and to help someone through something similar to what you went through. I’m busy with work (5 days a week) and working out (6 days a week), but I am going to make a effort to post more on my blog. Seriously anyone and everyone, message me with things you want to know about and I will do a post about it. I got a vacation coming up and you can bet that I will be posting about it. I’m excited to see what the future holds and excited to see where my life goes. Love to each and every one of my readers out there.
“Look inside my soul and you’ll see someone who has been through hard times. But you’ll also see someone who is stronger than ever before.”